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Why Don't Men Do Up Their Pads?

Your guide to the male brain

Why don’t guys... decorate their Place?

His home is his post-apocalyptic. TGI Fridays.

“Men have very limited influences when it comes to décor. Pop culture presents us with two acceptable aesthetics: man cave (framed jerseys, hideous black leather furniture) and serial killer’s hideout (blank walls/complete lack of personal effects). When these are your sources of inspiration, it feels daunting to go too far in the other direction—a tasteful mid-century modern abode signals you have way too much time on your hands. In reality, I’d love to have a clean, modern apartment.

I’m 30, and it’s embarrassing that my house resembles an opium den without opium. But I’ve never learned how to live any other way. It’s not like I think signing up for Pinterest will make my penis fall off. But I don’t need to learn how to DIY a pinecone into a light fixture. I just want to know how high and how far apart to hang two framed posters. Bottom line: if your boyfriend’s apartment is basically the inside of a pizza box, he’s probably underwhelmed by choices or has no taste of his own. Help a brother out!”