What I learnt from a relationship I knew wouldn’t last

Many of us have stayed in relationships long past their natural end, often driven by a mix of uncertainty, fear, and misplaced hope. I once found myself holding onto something I knew wasn’t right, convinced by a string of "what ifs" that I might not find anything better. Deep down, I understood it wouldn’t last, but the fear of being alone—of facing the unknown—was enough to make me stay.

Then there are the relationships we step into knowing they have an expiration date. The ones we approach with clarity, expecting them to be fleeting, yet somehow, when they do end, they leave a mark. Even temporary connections, no matter how brief, offer valuable lessons—about ourselves, our needs, and the way we navigate love and loss. And here's what I learnt from being in relationships I knew weren't meant to last. 

I learned to let go

Letting go is one of the hardest lessons in love. It’s tempting to hold onto someone who feels familiar and safe, even when the relationship no longer serves us. But not every connection is meant to be permanent, and recognising that can be liberating. When a relationship reaches its natural conclusion, acceptance becomes a powerful skill—one that allows us to move forward without resentment or regret. And in some cases, a romance that wasn’t meant to last can evolve into a meaningful friendship, proving that not all endings are failures.

I became aware of my own red flags

Every relationship—whether serious or casual—acts as a mirror, reflecting not only your partner’s behaviours but your own. It’s easy to identify red flags in others, but fleeting relationships also highlight our own patterns, insecurities, and tendencies. They offer a space for self-reflection, allowing us to see where we might need to set better boundaries, communicate more effectively, or even reevaluate what we truly want. For me, these experiences were a reminder that emotional balance is crucial—I learned not to centre my world around someone else and to prioritise my own well-being.

I became a lot more patient

There’s a societal expectation to follow a certain timeline—meet someone, settle down, build a life together. But real connections don’t adhere to deadlines, and not every relationship is meant to progress to the next stage. Understanding this helped me embrace a slower, more intentional approach to dating. It’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of something new, but meaningful connections take time. A strong foundation—whether in a long-term relationship or a casual one—begins with mutual respect, shared values, and a willingness to understand each other beyond surface-level attraction.

I started dating with intention

Casual relationships have their place, but there’s value in dating with purpose. That doesn’t mean every interaction must lead to a lifelong commitment, but rather that we approach relationships with clarity—understanding what we want and what we are willing to compromise on. Prioritising personal growth, career goals, and emotional well-being creates a sense of fulfilment that naturally attracts the right people. It also allows us to recognise when a connection isn’t aligned with our long-term needs, making it easier to walk away without second-guessing.

Believe actions, not words

Perhaps one of the most important lessons in love is recognising the difference between words and actions. Promises and potential mean little if they aren’t backed by consistency. Many of us have been in situations where we’ve waited for someone to change, to follow through, to prove their commitment—only to be met with disappointment. Understanding that actions reveal true intent is a fundamental shift in how we approach relationships. If someone isn’t showing up in the way they claim to, it’s often a sign to move on.

It took time—and more than a few missteps—for me to internalise these lessons. But looking back, every relationship, no matter how brief, played a role in shaping the way I approach love today. Not all relationships are meant to last, but that doesn’t make them any less significant. They serve as stepping stones, teaching us resilience, self-awareness, and the importance of choosing connections that truly align with who we are and where we want to go.

Cover Image: Netflix 

Also Read: 7 artists you should see live at least once in your life

Also Read: Here's why some people fear commitment despite being in love