The best thing about New Year's Eve are the New Year's resolutions it gives you an excuse to make. Yes, you can make little promises to change certain things in your life any time of year, but the changing year is a good time to do it. Instead of making huge, grandiose plans for all the ways you'd like to revamp your love life, try starting small. These resolutions can (and should) be fun! If you need some help brainstorming, here are 10 tiny relationship resolutions you can make this year to get you started.
IF YOU'RE SINGLE...
1. Change up your go-to first date spot.
Having one specific bar or restaurant or park bench where you take all of your first dates isn't a bad idea—it's nice to feel comfortable in an otherwise new, slightly nerve-wracking situation. But if your current go-to spot hasn't been super fruitful this year (or even if it has been), picking a new one isn't a bad idea. Or better yet, vow to go to a different place on every first date. Think of it as improving your first date feng shui.
2. Mix up your dating app settings.
Maybe you've got this idea in your head that you simply cannot date anyone more than two years older than you. But chances are that rule is made up and meaningless. Alter your age settings, change your match radius, switch out some photos, try a new bio approach—do whatever you gotta do to add some new variety to your dating app pool.
3. Pick a piece of dating advice to ditch.
Something that sucks about being single is that everyone—but mostly people in relationships—are constantly trying to help you be un-single. Usually by giving advice that doesn't really mean anything. Take stock of all the advice you've been following, and ditch some of it. That thing your friend said about always going on the second date? Forget it! Or that other thing your other friend said about never sending the first text? Forget that, too.
4. Agree to do something completely new.
If you've historically said no to first dates that involve an activity more strenuous than a drink or a snack, scratch that. Or take things a step farther, and start suggesting activities on first dates yourself. Try something like rock climbing, or a pottery class, or one of those really corny painting classes where you drink wine the whole time. This way, if the date goes bad, you at least got a ~cool experience~ out of it.
5. Make it a rule to approach people you're interested in.
Instead of waiting on the person you've been eyeing across the crowded room to walk up to you, walk up to them. This is simple, oft-given advice that's much easier said than done. But it's so popular because it's good. Whether it's making the first move IRL or over text, just do it. You'll feel better for it.
If You're In A Relationship...
1. Plan a tiny trip.
Make a weekend trip, a day trip somewhere nearby, or an overnight stay in a hotel in your own town—just plan something. It's less important what you choose, because the planning process and excitement of doing something new together is the real gem of this resolution. You learn a lot about a person by planning something together. And that's a good baby milestone to reach in any relationship.
2. Vow to go to a new restaurant every month.
Yes, sure, the margaritas at your regular spot are the best. But those margaritas will still be there if you decide to go somewhere new on a Friday night every few weeks. This will help you from being one of those sad couples that just stares at their own food and phones while they silently eat at the same table every week, and will potentially help you find your new fave restaurant. Mix it up! Mixing it up is great.
3. Do those New York Times love questions.
A few years ago, the New York Times published a series of 36 questions and directives designed to help two people fall in love, all based on a study by psychologist Arthur Aron. The questions are all divided into three sets, each one more intimate than the last. You may or may not fall in love at the end, but you'll definitely learn a lot and feel closer to your partner.
4. Skip dinners out for a month and save up for one big thing.
Instead of doing little, unspecial dinners out just because you don't feel like cooking, save all the money you usually spend on pizza and take out and pool it together to go on a big, fancy-schmancy date at a restaurant you normally can't afford. Not only does this get you in the kitchen and cooking more together, but it also gives you something fun to look forward to, and a brand new experience to share. All good things.
5. Pick a day to do absolutely nothing together.
It's pretty easy to get along with someone when you're always doing cool, fun things together. And doing cool, fun things together is certainly one benefit of being in a relationship. But if you feel like giving your ~love~ a little miniature test, try spending an entire day doing nothing together. If you two can enjoy yourselves without any distractions or activities, you've got something solid. Also, you just enjoyed a day of total rest. Enjoy!
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