Are we over-romanticising healing to make it Instagram-friendly?

Healing is everywhere right now. Your Instagram feed is packed with glowing morning routines, journal spreads filled with affirmations, and candles that promise emotional detox. Everywhere you look, someone is “healing” in a way that looks effortless, magical, and Instagram-worthy. But real healing is messy. It is not always pretty, and it does not always come with a matching colour palette or a perfectly curated playlist. Sometimes, it is skipping a night out because your anxiety is acting up. Sometimes, it is crying in the middle of the supermarket aisle because that old hurt just hit again.

We love the idea of transformation: the glow-up, the rise-from-the-ashes narrative. It makes us feel like self-improvement can be packaged in cute stationery, essential oils, and weekend retreats. But when you read post after post about someone meditating their way to bliss or journaling their trauma away in one weekend, it sets up a quiet pressure. You start thinking that if you are not glowing, laughing, or smiling through your healing process, you are doing it wrong.

No, healing does not happen in straight lines. You can have a week where you feel on top of the world, and the next day, a text or a memory knocks you back to square one. One minute you are journaling with gratitude, and the next you are binge-watching romcoms in your pyjamas while avoiding all your responsibilities. 

And that is normal. That is human. The problem comes when social media feeds only show the triumphant moments, the polished highlights, and skip over the messy middle chapters.

Self-care is not a selfie

A bath bomb, a face mask, or a cappuccino by the window does not automatically equal emotional healing. Real self-care sometimes means confronting uncomfortable feelings, setting boundaries with loved ones, or even admitting you need professional help. It can be as small as refusing to text your ex or as big as moving to a new city to start fresh. 

None of these come with a TikTok soundtrack or a filter, but they are just as valid.

What works for one person may not work for another. Your friend’s weekend retreat in Bali may be life-changing for them, but it would leave you stressed out and sunburnt. Your cousin’s meditation streak may calm their mind, while yours makes you antsy and frustrated. 

That is the beauty of it. Stop comparing, and stop measuring your progress against someone else’s Instagram reel. Healing is yours, in all its chaotic, awkward, and beautiful forms.

The truth is, healing is not meant to be romanticised. It is not always neat, shiny, or Instagram-ready. Sometimes it is crying at 2 am; sometimes it is therapy; sometimes it is doing absolutely nothing for a week. Let’s give ourselves permission to be messy, imperfect, and human along the way. That is where real growth happens.

Lead image: Netflix

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