Crushing on a Virgo? Read this before you ask them out

So you’ve got the hots for a cool Virgo? I don’t blame you! Earthy Virgos (born August 22 to September 22) are thoughtful, warmhearted, and deeply intelligent. They’re known for their extraordinary attention to detail, effortless organization, and incredible ability to synthesize even the most complex issues. But not every Virgo is a neat freak. And while it’s true that Mother Teresa was literally a Virgo, don’t let the name fool you: Most Virgos are far from virginal. So before you link up with this fascinating, complex creature, you want to know what you’re getting into. But don’t worry—I’ve got you covered! Here’s the scoop on all things Virgo.

So you’ve got the hots for a cool Virgo? I don’t blame you! Earthy Virgos (born August 22 to September 22) are thoughtful, warmhearted, and deeply intelligent. They’re known for their extraordinary attention to detail, effortless organization, and incredible ability to synthesize even the most complex issues. But not every Virgo is a neat freak. And while it’s true that Mother Teresa was literally a Virgo, don’t let the name fool you: Most Virgos are far from virginal. So before you link up with this fascinating, complex creature, you want to know what you’re getting into. But don’t worry—I’ve got you covered! Here’s the scoop on all things Virgo.

The Virgo basics

Birthday: August 23 to September 22

Modality: Mutable

Element: Earth

Ruling planet: Mercury

Represented by: The virgin or the maiden

Tarot card: The Hermit

Keywords: Dedicated, attentive, high-strung, helpful, hardworking, perfectionist, sensual, organized, detail-oriented, smart, ambitious

Love anthem: “Partition” by Beyoncé

Famous Virgos: Zendaya, Beyoncé, Keanu Reeves, Chris Pine, Sydney Sweeney, Idris Elba, Nick Jonas, Salma Hayek, Prince Harry, Blake Lively, Keke Palmer, John Mulaney, Sara Ramirez, Jungkook, Padma Lakshmi, Billy Porter, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Leslie Jones

What is a Virgo looking for in a relationship?

If you’ve ever googled “Virgo personality,” you’ve probably stumbled across a laundry list of Virgo’s stereotypical attributes: Clean. Neat. Precise. And while it’s true that some Virgos may exhibit these characteristics, Virgo’s signature perfectionism is really only the tip of the iceberg. At the end of the day, every Virgo is motivated by an innate desire to make sense of the world. So whether Virgo is building a logical system through a color-coordinated bookcase, fine-tuning a singer’s vocals in a music studio, or writing long-form journalism that exposes societal injustices, Virgo is deeply committed to cultivating sustainable structure.

Accordingly, when it comes to matters of the heart, Virgo wants to be in a partnership that has a tangible purpose. Unlike some other signs of the zodiac (I’m looking at you, Leo), Virgo doesn’t want to dive headfirst into a messy, impossible, dramatic love affair. Virgo wants to link up with someone they can connect with on a day-to-day level. So before Virgo commits, this earth sign would like to know: Do you prefer to shower in the morning or the night? What time do you usually wake up on weekdays? How about weekends? Do you have any dietary restrictions?

Although these types of queries may seem mundane, Virgos know that the devil is in the details. Fundamentally, they’re constantly collecting data to create a comprehensive profile of their lover, which is then cross-referenced with their own wants and needs. If these align, bingo! It’s a match! Virgo will move full steam ahead. However, if your Virgo babe identifies any inconsistencies…well, let’s just say that these will need to be adjusted. Like, now. I know it may seem harsh, but there’s no way in hell Virgo will invest in an ill-suited relationship. It just doesn’t make sense!

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How does a Virgo behave in a relationship?

If there’s one thing you need to know about Virgo, it’s that this earth sign is constantly solving puzzles. All day, every day. As one of the cleverest signs of the zodiac, Virgos can spend all day sorting, analyzing, investigating and—best of all—finding solutions. And of course, since cultivating systems is such a defining aspect of Virgo’s personality, they’re delighted to apply their skills on an interpersonal level—they’re considered one of the most helpful signs of the zodiac. Can’t manage your calendar? Virgo has an idea. Need help hanging that coat rack? Don’t fret—Virgo will swing by with a hammer. Want some feedback on your résumé? Cool, just send it to Virgo!

While Virgo can certainly find joy in organizing the spice rack, there’s nothing that makes this earth sign happier than helping others. Virgos pride themselves on acts of service, so this earth sign is always looking for new ways to lend a hand. But while this might seem perfect in theory, Virgo’s relentless “support” may actually create more problems (how ironic!).

Although Virgo can be the most thoughtful and caring partner, they can also be a bit of a control freak. Virgo must remember that relationships are not “fixer-uppers.” There’s no need to correct, improve, and calibrate their lover’s every move! Interestingly, the best way to combat their razor precision is to deny their service requests. Just because Virgo is offering help doesn’t mean you need to accept it—sure, it’s nice that they keep offering to do the dishes, but it’s not necessary!

I know it’s tempting to say yes to everything Virgo wants to improve, but the best way to cultivate a long-term bond with this earth sign is by setting boundaries. Although they may say they want to help, each lover has to give and receive equally. And by establishing a partnership that’s based on reciprocity (as opposed to Virgo’s toolbox), Virgo will—slowly but surely—stop trying to adjust the relationship, enabling them to redirect their solution-oriented approach to things that really matter…like rearranging their photo albums in chronological order!

What are Virgo's biggest turn-ons and turn-offs?

Virgo is governed by Mercury, the fast-paced, quick-witted planet that governs communication and expression. Armed with the incredible, innate ability to synthesize large amounts of information and find answers to even the most complex problems, Virgo is attracted to lovers who are deeply intelligent. The fastest way to Virgo’s heart is through their mind—there’s nothing they love more than sharing observations and witticisms.

Despite Virgo’s shrewd analytical skills, however, this earth sign cannot handle criticism. Don’t even think about correcting Virgo’s systems. For better or worse, Virgo’s identity is wrapped up in their unique processes, so questioning Virgo’s approaches will cause this earth sign to shut down completely. While it’s true that Virgo is trying to improve systems, it doesn’t mean this sign is open to suggestions! When in doubt, simply take a step back and let Virgo do their thing. So if you’re curious about why Virgo is still wearing cargo shorts (obvi for the pockets), avoid challenging Virgo’s fashion until after you’ve established trust and understanding. Otherwise, you may never see your Virgo lover (and those charming cargo shorts) again.

What’s sex with a Virgo like?

If you’re expecting your Virgo to be all sweet and virginal, think again. As earth signs, Virgos are particularly sensual and in touch with their bodies. They have some secret kinks lurking not so far beneath the surface! Virgo is sometimes called “the sign of service,” which means they get off on making sure you get off—lucky you.

They’re ruled by Mercury, planet of communication, so they might be into dirty talk, sexting, reading erotica, etc. And in medical astrology, Virgo rules the digestive system...aka they might be super into anal. Of course, all this varies from person to person, so talk it over with your partner before trying anything!

Where should I take a Virgo on a date?

Unlike some signs (cough, cough, Leo), Virgo isn’t impressed by a big, showy date. For them, dating is all about connecting one-on-one. It’s about the conversation and the company, not how much money you spent or how good it looks in a TikTok video. Which means that if you can’t keep up with Virgo’s convo...yeah, they’ll notice, and there’s nothing you can do to hide it.

Take a Virgo out to a nice, quiet restaurant where you can indulge in good food and good conversation. Even better, take them out somewhere where they can quietly impress you with how smart and talented they are—be that an art gallery, a science museum, bar trivia, a wine tasting, whatever!

Virgo’s Most Compatible Matches

Virgo and Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Taurus values Virgo’s thoughtful, meticulous nature, while Virgo appreciates Taurus’s considerate and hard-working personality. Both are earth signs, so they speak the same language—they just *get* each other.

Virgo and Capricorn (December 22–January 19)

Capricorn appreciates Virgo’s attention to detail and is attracted to Virgo’s kind and thoughtful spirit. These two earth signs are some of the most driven of the zodiac, so together they’re a total power couple.

Virgo and Virgo (August 23–September 22)

Of course, who can understand a Virgo better than another Virgo? They’re two peas in a pod! The only risk here is that they’ll turn their critical eyes on each other.

Virgo and Scorpio (October 23–November 21)

Virgo also vibes with water sign Scorpio. Both signs tend to be reserved and deep thinkers. Virgo appreciates Scorpio’s insight while Scorpio is impressed by Virgo’s attention to detail.

Virgo and Pisces (February 19–March 20)

Virgo has an opposites-attract vibe with its literal opposite on the zodiac, Pisces. They’re different but in all the right ways, making them fit together like puzzle pieces.

Virgo and Aries (March 21–April 19)

Virgo and Aries are different in all the worst ways. Virgo is level-headed, while Aries has a notorious temper. Virgo likes to think things through before acting, while Aries is impulsive. They just don’t fit!

Virgo and Sagittarius (November 22–December 21)

Virgo can also get frustrated by Sagittarius. Sag tends to act on the fly, while Virgo needs a plan. Sagittarius is also famously noncommittal, which frustrates Virgo. On the other hand, Sag can see Virgo as boring!

Virgo and Leo (July 23–August 22)

Yeah, Virgo and fire signs are not a mix. While Virgo might be impressed by Leo’s generosity, their need for the limelight can be stressful for Virgo, who prefers to work behind the scenes.

Virgo and Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Virgo has a difficult time managing relationships with Gemini. Chatty Gemini find Virgo’s approach to be somewhat neurotic, while Virgo perceives impulsive Gem to be extremely unreliable and flaky.

Virgo and Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Earth and water signs tend to go well together, but this could be an exception. Cancer is probably the most sensitive sign of the zodiac, while Virgo can be very critical. This is a recipe for hurt feelings!

Virgo and Libra (September 23–October 22)

Virgo and Libra are side-by-side in the zodiac, which often leads to a playful, fun, sibling-like relationship. However, Virgo can easily get frustrated by Libra’s noncommittal nature and Libra can think Virgo is too serious.

Virgo and Aquarius (January 20–February 18)

Virgo and Aquarius probably admire each other from afar but find it hard to get to know each other IRL. Aquarius is notoriously a bit aloof, and Virgo doesn’t have what it takes to push past their defenses and break the ice.

Crushing on a Virgo but your sign is in the “not compatible” list? Don’t give up hope! First of all, compatibility is so much more complex than just your Sun signs. Your Moon signs, Venus signs, Mars signs, etc. might be far more compatible, and those are just as important—if not more so—than Sun signs when it comes to compatibility. Second, astrological compatibility is simply a way to look at potential strengths and challenges in a match. Knowing about the potential challenges can help you strive to understand each other better—something that always makes a great match!

Lead image is credited to Unsplash. 


This article originally appeared in Cosmopolitan US in August 2024.
 

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