So the girls’ trip finally made it out of the group chat. Great. Flights? Booked. Outfits? Planned. There’s already a shared Notes document floating around that no one has properly read, but everyone has reacted to. But here's a question, did you plan your boundaries with the same enthusiasm as your airport look? No? That might explain why so many friend trips start with pure main-character energy and end with at least one person quietly questioning the entire friendship on the flight home.
Part of the problem is that films have completely sold us a fantasy: a group of friends effortlessly funding a European holiday, wandering through postcard-perfect streets, flirting with charming strangers, and making it back to their Airbnb at sunrise without a single logistical hiccup. No budgeting chats. No awkward bill-splitting. No exhaustion. No safety anxieties.
In real life, most of us are travelling on savings, sharing rooms, tracking expenses, and stretching our annual leave like it’s elastic. We’re more aware, more cautious, and significantly more tired. The glossy version of friend travel we’ve been sold isn’t real, and trying to recreate it in close quarters is usually where things start to unravel.
Friend holidays don’t fall apart because people are terrible friends. They fall apart because real people bring real expectations, real moods, and very little conversation about boundaries.
Travel removes the buffer friendships rely on
In everyday life, friendships come with built-in space. You meet, you laugh, you vent, and then you go back to your own routines. On a trip, that buffer disappears. You are suddenly together all the time. Morning moods, hunger levels, exhaustion, and indecision. The friend you love in small doses is now in your space from breakfast to bedtime. Without boundaries, that closeness can feel overwhelming very quickly. Boundaries are not controlling. They are what stop affection from quietly turning into irritation.
Different travel styles will clash, no matter how close you are
Every group has one person who wants a proper plan and another who believes things will “figure themselves out”. One friend wants to wake up early and explore. Another wants to sleep in and recover from life. Pretending these differences will magically resolve themselves is where resentment begins. When expectations are not discussed, compromise feels personal. Someone opting out feels rude. Someone sticking to a plan feels bossy. It is rarely about intention. It is about unspoken boundaries.
Money is the tension no one wants to name
There is always a moment on a friend trip when the bill arrives and everyone suddenly becomes very interested in their phone. That silence is not calm. It is discomfort. Different budgets create awkward dynamics. Someone feels pressured to spend more. Someone feels held back. Jokes start covering real frustration. Boundaries around money feel uncomfortable, but avoiding the conversation almost guarantees resentment later.
The myth that everyone has to do everything together
Somewhere along the way, friend trips became about constant togetherness. Every meal together. Every plan together. Every moment documented. It is unrealistic and exhausting. It turns a holiday into a performance. People stop listening to what they actually want and start doing what they think the group expects. Boundaries allow people to split up without guilt. Different plans, different moods, different energy levels. You come back together because you genuinely want to, not because you feel obligated.
Alone time is not a personal insult
Wanting space on a trip does not mean you dislike your friends. It means you are human. If someone needing alone time feels offensive, the issue is not the holiday. It is the expectation of constant access. Without boundaries, people push themselves to stay “on” even when they are overstimulated, and that is when tempers shorten. Normalising alone time keeps everyone regulated and makes the time together feel better.
Room sharing exposes everything
Sharing a room sounds manageable until sleep schedules, phone calls, mess tolerance, and bathroom habits enter the picture. None of it is personal, but without boundaries, it can become emotional very quickly. Clear expectations around privacy and routines prevent minor annoyances from turning into full-blown tension.
Conflict hits harder when there is no escape
Arguments on trips feel intense because there’s nowhere to go. You still have plans. You still share space. You still have to sit through dinner. Boundaries help contain conflict. Knowing when to pause instead of forcing a resolution. Allowing space to cool off. Accepting that not every issue needs to be solved immediately. Sometimes the healthiest move is stepping back, not winning the argument.
Why boundaries actually make trips better
Arguments on trips feel intense because there is nowhere to go. You still have plans. You still share space. You still have to sit through dinner. Boundaries help contain conflict. Knowing when to pause instead of forcing a resolution. Allowing space to cool off. Accepting that not every issue needs to be solved immediately.
Sometimes the healthiest move is stepping back instead of trying to win the argument.
Lead image credit: IMDb
Also read: The psychology behind friendship trios and why they don’t always last
Also read: Why spending time with your girlfriends is the best form self-care
