Not being mocked shouldn’t feel like winning the lottery. But here we are

Finding someone decent right now feels less like romance and more like a full-time assignment. You’re filtering, assessing, cross-checking, sending screenshots to friends, revisiting red flags you promised yourself you wouldn’t ignore again. It’s not exactly the dreamy love story we were sold.

So when something actually works, it feels a bit unreal. Did I accidentally get this right?

I somehow did. Touches all the wood available.

And it’s not because he’s perfect or because this is some grand, cinematic situation. It’s because of something much smaller that ended up mattering way more than I expected. He doesn’t make me feel stupid for liking what I like.

That sounds basic. It really shouldn’t be a standout quality. But if you’ve dated enough, you know it is.

There’s a very specific kind of behaviour that gets passed off as normal in relationships. You say you like something, and it’s met with a joke that lands slightly off. Not rude enough to call out, not nice enough to ignore. You laugh, because what else are you supposed to do, but a part of you quietly registers it.

And over time, you start editing yourself. Saying things halfway. Downplaying how much you care about something. Act a little less invested so you don’t get that reaction again.

We call it banter. But a lot of the time, it’s just low-effort dismissiveness dressed up better.

With him, that whole pattern just didn’t happen.

Same with my borderline intense relationship with BTS. This is usually where most people start to lose interest or start making jokes. I asked him to listen to BTS, and he said okay. I asked him to stream their MV for views, again, a yes. I said we would go to the concert one day, and somehow, it's still a yes.

No sighing, no acting like it’s a phase he has to tolerate, no trying to be funny at my expense. Instead, he actually paid attention. Enough to know I’d care about the Jungkook exhibition that happened here, and then went ahead and got me tickets to go see it.

At one point, I told him I wanted to learn Japanese because I wanted to travel there someday. I asked him to learn with me, fully prepared for a straight-up no or at least some hesitation. Instead, he just said okay and got on board. Now he’s actually learning with me. We randomly exchange words, quiz each other for fun, and somehow it’s become this shared thing we didn’t even plan in detail.

No resistance, no questioning the effort it would take, no making it sound like a lot. Just a simple yes, followed by actual action.

And then there are the everyday things. Shopping, which most people treat as a chore, somehow becomes an activity we both participate in. He has opinions, reactions, and patience. It doesn’t feel like I’m dragging someone along.

Even when he does tease me, like when I insist on watching a terrible horror film, it never feels pointed. You’re not the punchline. The situation is.

That’s where the whole mocking versus banter thing actually becomes clear.

Mocking makes you feel a bit small, even if it’s subtle. It lingers. You think twice before bringing something up again. Banter doesn’t do that. It doesn’t take anything away from you. It just adds a layer of fun to something that’s already comfortable.

And the biggest difference is this. With the right person, you don’t hesitate before sharing something you’re excited about. There’s no mental filter. No calculation of how it might be received.

I didn’t realise how much I was holding back earlier until I stopped having to.

It’s easy to talk about big relationship markers. Chemistry, attraction, long-term compatibility. But this specific feeling of being taken seriously in the things you care about changes the entire experience of being with someone.

It makes everything lighter in the best way. You’re not performing, you’re not adjusting, you’re not constantly reading into reactions. You’re just there. Fully.

And in a time where dating feels like a series of small disappointments stitched together, that kind of ease feels rare enough to notice.

Not because it’s extraordinary, but because it should have been standard all along.

Image: Netflix 

Also read:The small habits that quietly make or break a relationship

Also read: You Can’t Be “Too Happy Being Single”