Birthday Blues (They’re a Real Thing!)

Huzzah! It’s that time of year again! Cake, cheesy cards, friends reminding you of ‘that birthday five years ago when you got so wasted’. The idea of your birthday should make you as chipper as a Disney bluebird, but here you are wanting nothing more than to crawl under the kitchen sink and pray the day away. But you’re not an oddball for wanting total birthday isolation—experts confirms that B-Day depression is, indeed, as real as those candles on your cake.

You’re getting older...
Yes, this one’s obvious. But it bothers you for a reason. Turning a year older forces you to reassess your life and everything you haven’t done—the job you were supposed to have by 25, the house you were to live in by 30... “But what if you’ve already passed these birthday milestones, and can’t help but feel that you haven’t accomplished what you intended to?” questions Merav Harris, a therapist at the Albert Ellis Institute, NYC. But Psychologist Jennifer Barns on jenbarns.hubpages.com, suggests a little flashback-fix. “Prove to yourself that you’ve done okay by going through old pictures, making a list of accomplishments, or having a friend remind you of your victories,” she advises. “Thinking about what you have done will keep you from thinking what you haven’t yet.”

Expectation overload
Since it’s natural to expect your birthday to be all about you—the expectation bar is raised sky-high. But, often, the reality doesn’t quite match up. So what’s to be done? Take charge, advises Catherine Magree, Author of Beyond Birthday Depression. “What do you want to do? Whom do you want to spend your birthday with?” she asks. “Organise the kind of celebration that’s right for you—and if no-one buys you a decent present, buy yourself something special. Give yourself the nurturing you need on this day.” Be your own white knight!

The lonely woes
“If you don’t have a wide friends circle, or you’re away from home, birthdays can be an especially desolate time,” Catherine says. Jennifer feels that the key is to just go head on and remedy it yourself. “Not everyone wants a lot of attention on their birthday, but if you’re coy about mentioning your birthday, and then feel sad when no one notices, make it a point to bring it up.” What’s wrong with asking for a li’l love?

Oh, The Pressure!
The other end of the loneliness spectrum—too much to do, too little time (while you’d rather be couch-potato-ing it with your cat instead). But it’s okay to segregate, says Catherine. “Don’t try to cram the celebrations into one day,” she advises. “You can always see friends separately, and spread the birthday meetings over a few days or a week.”

Cry it out
There’s enough ways to give yourself the boost you need to battle the birthday blues—but a little breakdown can be on the cards too. “Sometimes, we just need time to be sad,” says Jennifer. “So let yourself cry,” she recommends, “and then get over it. Remind yourself that you have a life to live.” And, of course, a fantastic day to be had, too!