Hey Girl, Please Stop Doing This At Work!

Here’s a memo you need to get: a few seemingly innocuous and totally common workplace behaviours (for example, being indirect, hitting the ‘!’ key one too many times) can straight-up sabotage your stellar employee status and your potential to get ahead. “Women often act a certain way because they don’t want to be called aggressive or a b*tch,” says leadership and communication coach Peggy Klaus, author of Brag! The Art Of Tooting Your Own Horn Without Blowing It. Sadly, having a less assertive or too enthusiastic MO can cause colleagues to view you as unreliable or unprofessional. Breaking these three small habits can help put you on track for long-term success.

1. Talking In Timid-Speak

Got a question for your boss? Just clearly state what you need. “If you’re not direct, you likely won’t get what you want,” says Peggy. Women sometimes hedge requests because they’ve been conditioned to be accommodating to others. But being too deferential can come across as meek or like *ss-kissing, causing your co-workers to doubt your confidence or qualifications. They’ll wonder, in turn, if they should trust you with big projects. Keep your asks simple and straightforward: ‘Can you meet this afternoon? We need to discuss XYZ.’ (While you’re at it: remove ‘I’m sorry’ from your vocab unless you really mean it.)

2. Overly Enthusiastic E-Mailing

When you’re sending your besties last night’s recap, add as many exclamation points as you want (‘I’m sooo hungover!!!”). But on work messages? You need to show some restraint. “So many people treat e-mail like a
casual text,” says business-etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore, author of Poised For Success: Mastering The Four Qualities That Distinguish Outstanding Professionals. “But you should write as if your bosses were
reading every note you send,” she says. Would he or she be down with a zillion !s? Probably not, because too many can come off as juvenile and might keep the receiver from taking you seriously. To be safe (and profesh), stick with periods. The exception? When you’re sending a peer props (‘Congratulations on that major sale!’).

3. Saying 'Yes!' to Everything

If you consistently find yourself cleaning up coffee cups or planning staff birthday toasts, you may be starring in the thankless role of ‘office angel’. Often, women will volunteer for this kind of stuff to be helpful, but doing so
can backfire, says Kim Scott, author of Radical Candor: Be A Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity. If you always do these tasks and they’re not part of your job description, people may assume they can walk all
over you. And they take you away from your actual duties, says Kim. Next time someone tries to push office housework on you, try this: ‘Unfortunately, I can’t do that right now. I’ve got to finish [insert real work assignment].’

 

 

Text By: Molly Fitzpatrick

This article was originally published in the August 2018 issue of Cosmopolitan India.