We all get jealous. It’s a fact of life. No matter how upstanding we are, we all succumb to envy and resentment at one point or another. And chances are the individuals we are jealous of don’t do anything to aggravate us, but only mind their own business. So, are we the problem? Yes and no. Here’s the logic: we create an irrational hatred towards someone’s mere existence because our brains are programmed to resist people we think might hinder us from achieving something we consider important. No-one really is to blame. It’s just a matter of accepting this truth about jealousy and moving forward with a strategy to tackle it. Here are few key causes of jealousy and how to deal.
Appearance :The moment you realise that someone with better looks has walked into your workspace, subconsciously, your attire game begins skyrocketing to get more attention than the pretty co-worker. You should always look your absolute best and not aim to compete with someone else. The fact of the matter is that there will always be someone else who will be better looking than you. But, the goal is to ensure it doesn’t affect how you perceive yourself. The more you choose to be better than someone else, the less content you will be with yourself, and that, girlfriend, can lead to an entire
AROUND THE OFFICE
Insecurity leaps in when you start doubting yourself at work, and this leads to envying other successful women and men. Healthy competition is always welcome, but hoping for your peers’ downfall is not very cool. Basically, when you’re jealous, you believe someone else’s failure will create your own success. But, you rise up when you celebrate co-workers’ successes just like you would yours. Your real success will depend on your hard work and intelligence, so once you’ve got that, nothing can stand in your way. The next time your colleague gets a promotion while you don’t, tell yourself that it’s okay. If you want one too, set aside the negativity and just put in the hard work required. You’ll be well on your way! Still uncertain as to how to go about it all? Level yourself with these confidence-boosting hacks:
1) LEAVE POSITIVE QUOTES AROUND TO AMP UP YOUR MOOD and train your mind to believe that you’re enough. This could be the first thing that you see when you wake up or the one that can distract you from gossiping at work.
2) WELL, DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ANYWAy. Don’t let anyone’s win stop you from doing your thing.
3) START WITH WHAT’S EASY AND THEN MOVE ON TO THE HARDER PARTS. For instance, if you want to become a dancer, don’t try the advanced dance steps at first. Instead, take it step-by-step to avoid demotivation.
4) USE THE NEGATIVE ENERGY IN A POSITIVE WAY TO IMPROVE YOURSELF instead of hoping for the worst for another person. If these grudges are keeping you up at night then it can wake you up in the morning to hit the gym! So stop envying and start living.
The Comparison Mentality
Every day, you wake up to digital rays from the pictures on social media hitting your face that may leave you feeling like you’re not good enough. What’s more, all the beautifully curated posts by bloggers/influencers can make you feel like you’re not living your best life. We get it—there’s this underlying anxiety to create the dream life that’ll awaken after you apply the many filters prior to uploading on Instagram. What’s really wrong with the reality of this virtual world is that people try to compare each other’s lives and end up being jealous.
So, what do you do? You shut down anything that tries to make you a jealous person. Here are some cues:
1) FOLLOW THE RIGHT PEOPLE. Interestingly, the people we follow on social media shape our thoughts as their posts speak to our subconscious mind. So, unfollow that show-off cousin and that #basic, yet popular, blogger who adds zero value to your digital world.
2) STAPHHH EXCESS SCROLLING. The moment you feel that your head is filled with envious thoughts, close that damn app! Moreover, avoid social media just as you’re about to hit the sack, as it negatively alters your mindset when you wake up.
Most people have grown up listening to their parents comparing their report cards and class photos with that of the neighbour’s kids. This was probably one of the first ways the green-eyed monster entered your life. The worst thing is that this harmful guest will stay with you, take over your peace of mind and will replace it with envious thoughts. This is how you treat it:
1) DON’T LISTEN TO ALL THOSE COMMENTS ABOUT HOW YOU’RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Deep down you know that these thoughts are not true so you should just listen to that positive voice inside you.
2) WRITE DOWN YOUR NEGATIVE RESPONSE AND YOUR JUSTIFICATION. Then brace yourself for the shocking realisation that these comparisons you’ve been making are actually petty and irrelevant.
The Obstreperous Negativity
You might be doing all you can to avoid your covetous intentions but still be distracted by someone else’s well-being. This is quite common in romantic relationships when an ex-boyfriend moves on. You two don’t obviously talk anymore but you can’t avoid stalking your former beau’s new boo. Don’t worry, we’ve got your back with these tips:
1) DON’T BLOCK THESE THOUGHTS FORCEFULLY AS ANYTHING RESISTED WILL MAKE A STRONGER COMEBACK. Instead, ignore it and distract yourself with something that positively changes you. And, unfollow that boy and start following those cute, puppy-related IG accounts, stat!
2)TALK TO A GOOD LISTENER. It could be your friend or a therapist who can hear you and respond with logic to your jealous thoughts.
What you wish for yourself, translates into the way you treat others. For instance, when you think that you don’t deserve something, you wish the same for others. And the moment they have it, you turn green. Think back to your teenage years (or even early 20s) when you grew up with a
conservative family. Sometimes you may have had to give up on things like going out at night, and in doing so you may have begun feeling jealous of those who had relatively more freedom than you. It’s all about perception—you’ve got to change your thought process and how you live, instead of hoping everyone else will be as miserable as you. Here’s how to clear a path for a healthy relationship with yourself and everyone around you:
1) TRY MEDITATING OR ENGAGING IN ACTIVITIES THAT WOULD SOOTHE YOUR MIND as you tend to look at things in an irrational way when your mind is cluttered with noise.
2) POSITIVE SELF-TALK WORKS SO DO IT! It’s 2am and you can’t sleep due to stress. Then, how about striking up a conversation with yourself to see how sensible you are at making decisions.
In a nutshell, jealousy is a normal feeling for everyone. But using that as an excuse and letting it grow is a detrimental choice. You see, it will gradually become a habit and will turn you into a green-eyed monster, leaving you with no peace! So, do yourself a favour and try to understand why you get jealous, and tackle your issue the right away. By regularly applying yourself, you will eventually be able to keep any negative thoughts at bay.