You’ve heard this too many times. A supposedly tight-knit squad has a GNO and they end up meeting a couple of cute guys. Flirty conversations are kicked off, and numbers are given out. It all seems harmless enough until it’s discovered that the Girl Code has been broken. What’s worse is finding out that a trusted friend has been asking your man out for dimly lit dinners, or that your chica has been making out with your ex of five years behind your back. Makes you question that unwritten, unspoken, but universally practiced set of rules we call The Girl Code. What we tend to forget, however, is that they aren’t just crimes against womanity—they’re just examples of someone being a not-so-great person. “I wouldn’t classify it as a girl thing or a guy thing,” says counsellor and coach Suzy Roxas of talktosuzyroxas.com. “It’s human behaviour. It happens across cultures, ages, gender.” To define backstabbing, cheating, lying, and simperingly sweet fakeness as exclusively female behaviour, then, would be unfair to both men and women because, given just the right reasons, we are all capable of these truly judge-worthy actions. What could be the catalyst? More often than not, the reason is competition, plain, and simple. “When someone wants something you have, they can behave in various ways to gain what belongs to you,” says Roxas, adding that reasons could be anything from the attention and affection of a man to professional success and possessions. So what’s a girl got to do when she realises she’s joined The Plastics? “Evaluate whether you really had a friendship,” recommends Roxas. “If you feel you did or do have a genuine friendship, figure out if things unravelled because of a different interpretation of events, whether you value things differently, or because of a simple misunderstanding. A sincere dialogue between two parties with the objective of understanding each other will bring better results than the goal of winning the argument.” While girl-on-girl crime, especially when it’s done because of a man, can deeply damage a relationship, getting to the heart of the matter is as important as keeping your cool. If, after discussing things maturely, like the adults that you are, you feel that competition, tearing each other down, and hidden agendas are your group’s MO, maybe it might be time to step away from the train-wreck. At the end of the day, your girls should have your back, not stab you in it.
Here are a couple of things the greatest girlfriends know they should never, ever do!
1. Date Your Friend’s EX Just...don’t.
2. Go after a guy your girlfriend is eyeing No bro is that cute.
3. Ditch your friends for a dude Would he ditch his boys for you? Don’t think so.
4. Lie. in general That includes whether a guy is a creep!
5. Put Down Another Girl To Make Yourself Look Better The truth will come out, and it will make you look worse than when you started.
6. Tag bad pictures on purpose There’s a special circle in hell for people who do this.