What do Kim Cattrall, Aimee Lou Woods, Swara Bhaskar and Ratna Pathak have in common? These unapologetic women played characters that put female pleasure at the forefront. A femme fatale who takes charge of her sex life, a young explorer who is trying to overcome the unfounded guilt of ‘self-love’, a single woman who knows what she wants, and an octogenarian representation of pleasure at all ages—their fictional characters sparked some real and much-needed conversations.
While female masturbation more often than not, faces a lot of flak, unperturbed women have been turning a deaf ear to all of it (especially, when the room is filled with their moans!)
However, taboo aside, many people still feel that this rejuvenating ‘me time’ falls in singleville and isn’t for those sexually active. The only DIY activity that counts as cheating is plucking your own eyebrows behind your salon lady’s back. Doing yourself can help improve partnered sex for you. Here’s how…
Self-love begets self-love
During partnered sex, orgasms may be difficult to come by, if your mind is busy worrying about your underbelly or if your genitalia looks like the Cullens—glowing-from-within and painfully flawless. But imagine, you’re lying on your bed, gently feeling your skin, unfiltered. It becomes easier to orgasm when your mind can completely focus on the task at hand, in this case, giving yourself some well-deserved lovin’! Having a positive solo sex experience can amp up your arousal and encourage body positivity, so you can truly shine in partnered coitus.
You will understand your body better
Can you, with the same self-assuredness as Monica and Rachel’s (seven, seven, seven!) build a map of the erogenous zones on your body? Self-pleasure will help you know not just what turns you on but also how much. This means when you are having partnered sex, you can guide them to areas that need some tender loving care.
Not everyone orgasms with penetrative sex
If you’ve been having penetrative sex and missing out on orgasms, envious of your partner’s post-O glow, you’re not alone. According to research published in Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, more than 80 per cent of women cannot orgasm with just intercourse. Your clit is the Scarlet Witch of superheroes—magical and transcendental! Self-pleasure will help you understand the exact rhythm, the exact pace and the exact area that gets you moaning.
Have solo sex that is not solo
Solo sexual activity should not be simply compensatory when your sex life is as dry as the Atacama Desert. Many women, as researchers over the years have found, love it to be a complementary activity. Firstly, your favourite sex toy may not be kept like the Queen’s letter enclosed and tucked away from anyone to see. Let your sexual partner use it on you or to make things spicy let them watch you use it. Confidence, spice and many big Os!
Say yes to sex, no to stress!
Sometimes, some good self-gratification is all you need at the end of a tiring week to feel rejuvenated. You don’t have to hit the spa (it won’t be so bad though!), self-pleasure will give you a colossal dose of happy hormones and a natural glow. The less stressed you are, the more you will be likely in the mood to have partnered sex and achieve an orgasm.