5 signs you are an overthinker in your relationship

Do you find yourself being constantly on edge? Do you spiral at the tiniest of things when making plans with friends or your partner? If the inside of your brain resembles a whirlpool that could destroy your world in seconds, you aren’t alone. My mind has a mind of its own, and if there was a course for overthinkers, I'd top the class. Over the years, I have identified telltale signs of going down the rabbit hole and I consciously try pulling myself out of it when I feel it coming knocking at my door. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t but being able to identify the tendencies always gives you some sense of control and assistance in snapping out of it quicker.

Here are five signs to help you know if you’re an overthinker.
 
Doubts people's motives

Overthinkers tend to have low self-esteem. They have a forever nagging feeling of not being good enough. Thus, they are always consumed by the fear that their close ones will leave them and critically analyse their every move to find plausible reasons that could make others say adios and walk out of their lives.  
 
Has trouble committing

People who tend to overthink, have walls higher than Rapunzel's tower to protect themselves from any perceived hurt. They work by the simple logic: if people can’t get in, there’s no chance of them leaving. Meet the parents? Absolutely not. Trauma bonding? No, thank you. Showing a piece of themselves is scary because they fear being rejected or not liked.

 
Bottles up feelings

Have you ever done something you didn’t want to do only because you didn’t want others to know you didn’t like it? Then you are probably keeping your likes, dislikes, and feelings hidden. You tend to blend in and go with the flow, as long as you don’t have to reveal a part of yourself to anyone. A cookie-cutter personality can’t be disliked, right? 
 
Needs constant reassurance 

How do you feel when you don’t hear from your best friend for a couple of days (even when you know they have stuff going on) or do not hear ‘I love you’ from your partner at least three times a day? If you feel like you have been abandoned or replaced or their love for you has diminished, you need to stop right there. Overthinkers need constant reminders of and reassurances of their worth and place in people's lives. 
 
Is unable to truly experience relationships 

Overthinking takes up a lot of energy and headspace, as the individual spends time analysing every single move and looking at everything under a microscope. In the process, they forget to be present in the moment and experience life.