5 Ways to Cope with a Breakup in Quarantine

Breakups aren’t easy to handle, but women in general had found a way to get around it. As movies show, relying on the girl gang, long solo trips, blind dates or picking up a new hobby that makes you meet more people (joining a running or cycling group or maybe a book club)—are some of the tried-and-tested coping methods. Unfortunately, in the current situation you can’t do any. “Coping with heartbreak may feel incredibly difficult during this time as it could compound an already stressful phase in our lives,” says Dr Bhavna Barmi, Delhi-based clinical psychologist. Moving on is a bigger challenge now than before as distractions or “external coping strategies” aren’t available.  

“The Coronavirus has impacted various aspects of our lives. Our mental health in particular, has been severely affected by the virus. We’re all practising self-isolation and social distancing. We can’t go out to meet people or engage in some cathartic activities such as shopping, going out for movies, going to the gym or meeting close friends. That's why a heartbreak now can be extremely overwhelming,” says Dr Bhavna.

How heartbreak can affect you…

Though many feel time will heal the pain, heartbreak can at times lead to serious mental health issues. Here are a few ways in which a breakup can affect people. 

1. Your body can go into 'fight-or-flight' mode after a breakup.
An unexpected heartbreak can deal a severe blow.  Your body may register it as an emergency and go into "fight-or-flight" mode. "This state can trigger a rapid heartbeat or trembling. Our eating habits change, we may experience difficulties in sleeping, headaches and stomach aches are some of the other complains," explains Dr Bhavna. 

2. It almost feels like physical pain. 
Several studies have found that our bodies respond to a breakup in the same way as they react to physical pain. 

3. You crave for rational explanations
"When something doesn't go as planned, people usually want to figure out why — especially because knowing the cause of something can help us gather information to avoid future mistakes. People find comfort in logic and being able to pinpoint the cause and effect of what went wrong," says Dr Bhavna. When they fail to see logic, they tend to blame themselves and feel less desirable.

4. Breaking up can feel like losing an investment.
Relationships aren't build over night. They may take months or years. "So breaking up with a partner can make you feel like you've lost all of the emotional energy and material resources you spent on maintaining that relationship," says Dr Bhavna.

Ways to cope with a breakup 

There's no shortcut, but there are certain ways in which you can handle the situation better. Dr Bhavna lists out some effective ways to get over your ex.   

1. Grieve: We feel, we should stay strong through heartbreak, but the truth is, we need to live through it. It is important to really understand and accept the circumstances that led to heartbreak. Take some time off and cry to your heart’s content. Grieve, because it is the first and most important step to healing. You’ll feel better after letting it all out. 

2. Workout: Exercise, go for a run or a walk, meditate, do some yoga. Workouts can do wonders to your self-esteem. 

3. Reach out to friends and family: Though you can't physically meet them, just knowing that they arearound can lift your spirits. You can also seek help from a clinical psychologist.

4. Find a hobby: This will take your mind off your ex and the relationship that was. Enrol for the online guitar class, learn cooking from a master chef or start a new DIY project. The internet offers many options. This will give you something to look forward to every single day. 

5. Maintain a journal: Writing can be therapeutic. Journal each day, plan activities so that you don't free moments to sit and wallow in self pity. Writing also helps you analyse your situation better.