Are intergenerational friendships the secret to lifelong connections?

“It happened at a neighbourhood café where I’d often retreat with a copy of The Great Gatsby. One afternoon, as I thumbed through its pages, a woman in her 60s glanced at my book and said, ‘That Fitzgerald—he understood loneliness better than most.’ Her comment sparked a conversation that stretched over months. She shared stories of the Jazz Age parties she imagined in her youth, while I confessed how Fitzgerald’s characters mirrored my own restless ambitions.

Through our talks, she offered insights not only into the book but into life itself—on love, loss, and the delicate balance of chasing dreams without losing oneself. In turn, I helped her navigate the digital world, setting up playlists of jazz standards and modern hits she’d grown curious about. What began as a shared appreciation for a novel became a friendship that defied the years between us, proving that some connections transcend time and context,” says Nisha Kapoor, 30, a marketing executive from Delhi.

Intergenerational friendships are unexpected, enriching, and quietly profound. They break free from the invisible rules that keep us bound to our age cohorts, giving the young a well of experience to draw from and the elder, a renewed sense of purpose. In a world increasingly siloed by generational divides, these relationships aren’t just personal—they’re transformative, reframing how we view one another as well as ourselves.

Start by embracing diversity

Forming intergenerational friendships begins with a willingness to connect across perceived divides. The best way to do this is by engaging in activities where age takes a back seat and shared interests come forward. “Attend community events, volunteer at local organisations, visit exhibitions and museums, or go to places welcoming members of all ages. When you approach each interaction with genuine curiosity and an open heart, you’ll be surprised by the bonds you can create,” says Meghna Banerjee, counselling psychologist, habit coach, and yoga expert at Alyve Health.

Discover shared passions

Finding common ground is the cornerstone of any relationship, and hobbies can be the perfect starting point. “Explore activities that appeal across age groups, whether it’s gardening, cooking, or playing board games. Joining a book club or taking a dance class can also help you meet people of different generations,” Banerjee says. Better yet, step outside your comfort zone and try something new together—sometimes, laughter over shared mistakes can create the strongest connections.

Prioritise reciprocity

According to Brubaker and Brubaker—known for their work in the field of family therapy and intergenerational relationships—strong intergenerational relationships require the four Rs: respect, reciprocity, responsibility, and resilience. “While older friends can offer wisdom, life lessons, and a sense of history, younger ones can provide fresh insights, modern skills, and an invitation to reengage with life’s playful side. This exchange creates a sense of mutual respect and appreciation,” Banerjee says. Think of it as a knowledge swap—teach them how to navigate a new app, and let them share their advice on navigating life’s bigger questions.

Build trust through consistency

Reliability is the bedrock of any meaningful friendship. “To foster trust, make time for consistent interactions, whether it’s a weekly coffee catch-up, a phone call, or a shared walk through the park. Small gestures, such as remembering important milestones or checking in after a difficult day, show that you’re invested in the relationship,” Banerjee explains. Over time, these acts of care create a deep sense of trust and belonging.

Overcome challenges with resilience

Every friendship has its ups and downs, and intergenerational ones are no different. Differences in communication styles or perspectives might emerge, but these are opportunities for growth and not barriers. “Give each other space in these intergenerational friendships,” advises Dr Charan Teja Koganti, a consultant psychiatrist at KIMS Hospital in Hyderabad. “If misunderstandings occur, approach them with openness, avoiding judgment. Recognise when it's necessary to step back—intergenerational friendships may coexist with friendships of the same age, and it’s important to compartmentalise them with care.”

Lead with empathy and respect

Empathy is the foundation of any strong relationship. In intergenerational friendships, it means appreciating the unique experiences that come with age and stage of life. Koganti elaborates, “For instance, when a younger individual opens up about the pressures of modern life, an older friend can listen without judgement, acknowledging their struggle with compassion. Rather than offering immediate solutions, the older friend shares their own experiences, creating a space for mutual understanding.”

Extend your connection to the community

Intergenerational friendships have the power to ripple outwards, inspiring those around you. Introduce your friend to others and encourage them to do the same. “Consider organising intergenerational gatherings or volunteering together to strengthen your bond and contribute to a greater purpose. Collaborating on a community project—whether it’s a local cleanup effort, a cultural event, or a charity drive—creates shared memories and reinforces the sense of belonging,” asserts Koganti.

Lead image credits: Pexels 

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