Here's why rushing into a new relationship is a bad idea

Best be slow and steady instead!

13 May, 2024
Here's why rushing into a new relationship is a bad idea

After months of third-wheeling with my friends and their SO, and feeling single and sorry, I decided to put myself out there and go on a date. We connected and sparks flew! He was everything I wanted in a guy, so much so that I had the post-date giddiness that everyone so fondly talks about. Yet despite my excitement, a faint voice in my head reminded me to take it slow. I'd seen relationships move too fast and fizzle out soon enough. Which is why, I controlled the urge to obsess over this newfound connection and move too quickly. 

Getting into a new relationship can be exciting—the romantic honeymoon phase, the butterflies, talking at 4 a.m., and so on. But it's best to take things slow; this way you don't rush into something that may not be right for you. 

If you're still not convinced, here's why rushing into a new relationship might be a bad idea. 

Romanticising the idea of your partner

We've all heard the infamous saying (even if we're not really sure who said it), "You're not in love with them, you're in love with the idea of them." It's a cliche, we know. But if you really think about it, you'll know why it's absolutely on point. It made me realise how easy it is to fall for a romanticised version of someone, especially during the initial stages of a relationship. The truth is, the initial infatuation can paint a rosy picture that obscures your partner's flaws. Taking things at a slower pace allows you to see them for who they truly are, quirks and all. Paving the way for a more realistic perception of your partner is the foundation for a stronger, more accepting bond.

Ignoring red flags

Building on the previous point, not spending enough time trying to get to know the person you're dating also means to not figuring out their red flags. Now we know, everyone is (usually) on their best behaviour on the first date. But taking things slow, going on more dates and spending more time together helps you recognise potential red flags or warning signs. It could be their behaviour, past relationships, communication style, etc. You should be able to identify these behaviours and decide whether or not they are deal breakers. And if they are, walking away before things get serious is the best thing to do in order to avoid any serious issues later on.

Skipping the getting-to-know-you phase

The early stages of a relationship are crucial for discovering each other's core values, interests, and deal breakers. Rushing things means missing out on these important details, which leads to a superficial relationship, where you only know each other on the surface level. It's a recipe for incompatible relationships and eventual heartbreak. On the other hand, taking the time to really get to know your partner can lead to a deeper and more meaningful connection.

Neglecting your individuality

We've all been there. When you start dating someone new, they suddenly become a central focus in your life, which can unintentionally put your hobbies, interests, and social life on hold. Initially we don't mind putting the rest of our life on the back burner, but over time it can lead to feelings of resentment and unhappiness. It's important to do the things you enjoy even after your start seeing someone new.; make time for your own hobbies and interests, spend time with your friends and family. These small efforts allow you to enter the relationship as a whole person with your own identity, passions, and support system, which can lead to a more fulfilling and well-rounded life and ultimately strengthen your bond with your partner.

Unrealistic expectations 

The initial honeymoon phase of a relationship can be quite intense, compelling you to have unrealistic expectations. Rushing into a relationship during this intense phase doesn't give you enough time to establish healthy boundaries. There's a dependence on your partner to make you happy, which is unhealthy and can lead to resentment if they aren't able to meet those expectations all the time.

All images: Unsplash

Also read: 5 ways to cope with relationship anxiety in the early stages of dating 

Also read: Does a good apology make a difference in a relationship?