Love bombing or true love? How to spot the difference

We all know that love is blind, which can make it tricky to navigate modern relationships. Especially with modern dating tropes like love bombing. So how do you tell the difference between genuine affection and emotional manipulation? 

For the uninitiated, love bombing refers to a behaviour where someone showers their partner with excessive attention and affection, which can sometimes leave them feeling overwhelmed. It can feel intoxicating, making the recipient believe they’ve found the perfect partner. However, once the love bomber’s behaviour shifts, the other person may feel trapped, confused, and emotionally drained. On the other hand, genuine affection is consistent and rooted in respect, understanding, and care. That’s why it’s essential to stay aware, protect yourself, and recognise the difference between the two.

On the other hand, if the person’s heart is in the right place, the affection will be consistent and deeply rooted in respect, understanding, and care. That’s why it’s important to be aware and recognise the difference between the two. This way, one is able to make informed decisions about their relationships and avoid being swept away by a false sense of love. 

The first and most important sign of a love-bomber is when they shower you with praise and grand gestures, which aren't consistent with their efforts. They could say I love you within days or weeks of knowing you, which can create a rollercoaster of emotions that is both overwhelming and exciting. A major red flag is when someone you’ve just met is already talking about marriage and calling you their soulmate. On the other hand, genuine affection takes time to develop (all good things do). A partner who genuinely cares about you will express love consistently instead of going all out in one dramatic burst. What's more, they’d be mindful of your personal space and allow the relationship to grow at its own pace instead of rushing things.

Here are some other signs to help you spot a love-bomber.

Conditional vs unconditional 

A love bomber's words and actions always come with strings attached. If you've known them long enough, you'll notice how they get upset or distance themselves when they don't get what they want. Then comes the blaming and guilt-tripping, where they remind their partner of everything they have done for them. In contrast to a love bomber, a truly affectionate person loves and supports their partner without expecting anything in return. Their love is not a tool for manipulation, but rather a foundation of mutual care and respect.

Controlling nature vs respect for boundaries

Love bombers will always try to control every aspect of their partner’s life. They want to know every single detail, demand constant communication, and often discourage their partners from spending time with their friends and family. A good partner will always respect your personal boundaries. They will trust you and understand that healthy relationships allow for personal space and individuality.

Overwhelming gifts vs thoughtful gestures

Love bombers often rely on grand gestures to display their affection. They will shower their partner with expensive gifts, making them feel obligated to stay with them. But genuine affection does not comes from lavish, materialistic things but rather heartfelt gestures. A partner who loves you will remember your favourite things and will find small, meaningful ways to show they care—rather than trying to buy your love.

 

Extreme vs emotional 

Everything that a love bomber does borders on the extreme—intense declarations of love, grand gestures, and dramatic mood swings when they don’t get any attention are just some of the many behavioural patterns displayed. True love, on the other hand, brings emotional stability, where both partners ensure open communication and mutual respect, rather than emotions being used as a tool for manipulation.

Short-term obsession vs long-term commitment

In the case of love bombing, everything may seem too good to be true at the start, but it eventually fades once they believe they have their partner’s undying devotion. In contrast, real love is built on a strong emotional connection, mutual respect, and long-term commitment. A truly invested partner remains engaged and supportive through all seasons of a relationship, not just during the honeymoon phase.

Recognising the difference between the two can save individuals from unhealthy relationships that leave them feeling emotionally exhausted and manipulated. If something feels too good to be true, take a step back and evaluate whether the relationship is built on genuine affection or manipulative intensity. By being aware of these signs, one can protect their emotional well-being and build relationships that truly enrich their life.

Lead image: Netflix

Also read: 10 signs you've been delulu about your partner's red flags 

Also read: Underlying red flags you must look out for on a first date

Also read: 5 red flags you should watch out for in the initial dating phase