Therapy's going in circles? Here's how to get unstuck without ghosting your therapist

At its best, therapy is a space for clarity, healing and self-reclamation. But what happens when it loses momentum? When you find yourself saying the same things, circling the same pain points, and leaving sessions with a familiar sense of emotional fog?

Stagnation in therapy is more common than we think—and yet it’s rarely talked about. There's a cultural tendency to idealise the therapeutic process as an inevitable upward curve. In reality, it can plateau, or even regress. “It’s a misconception that therapy is a one-size-fits-all solution,” says Dr Purnima Nagaraja, consultant mental health professional at Dhrithi Wellness Clinic in Hyderabad. “When progress stalls, that can be distressing—but it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It simply means something needs to shift.”

So what does that shift look like? Here’s a step-by-step guide to navigating a therapeutic rut—without losing hope.

Recognise the red flags

The first sign that something may be off is emotional repetition without evolution. “You're talking about the same things, again and again. You feel stagnant, unable to take concrete steps forward,” says therapist and COO of Anna Chandy & Associates, Deepti Chandy.

This can manifest as frustration, disillusionment or emotional fatigue after sessions. Dr Nagaraja adds, “Clients sometimes feel like they’re stuck in a loop—talking but not moving forward. Especially when they come looking for direct answers and realise therapy isn’t about that.”

When you're in therapy, the therapist’s role is to empower you to make your own decisions—not to make them for you. And that's precisely why many people end up feeling stuck, saying, "It feels like a dead end; therapy just isn't working."

If your emotional landscape isn’t shifting—or worse, feels increasingly bleak—it might be time to pause and assess.

Understand that discomfort doesn’t always mean dysfunction

“It’s important to remember that therapy might feel worse before it feels better,” cautions Dr Nagaraja. “You’re suddenly talking about issues you’ve buried. That’s exhausting.”

Early sessions can feel heavy, even destabilising. This discomfort is often a sign that you’re doing deep emotional work. But persistent feelings of hopelessness or paralysis shouldn’t be ignored. It’s the difference between digging through discomfort and being buried by it.

Voice what you’re feeling—even if it’s awkward

If therapy feels stalled, the first step is simple, yet courageous: say it out loud.

“Tell your therapist: ‘I’m feeling drained. I’m not progressing. Can we try something else?’” advises Dr Nagaraja. “Therapy works best when it’s a collaboration, not a prescription.”

Chandy echoes this, emphasising that good therapy is not a static experience. “I always begin with a contract,” she says, “but every few sessions, I check in: ‘How’s this going? Is my style resonating? Do we need to adjust?’”

Constructive feedback isn't a breach of trust—it’s a bridge to better care.

Re-contract and recalibrate

Stalled therapy often stems from rigid goals or outdated assumptions. Perhaps you came in wanting to work on your career, but now it’s your relationships that need attention.

“In those moments, we revisit and revise the goals together,” says Dr Nagaraja. This process is called re-contracting—a collaborative reassessment of what the client needs from the space.

Therapy may also stagnate if assigned goals feel unachievable. It’s important to communicate this with your therapist. Together, you can recalibrate the direction, reframe goals, and find momentum again. Occasionally, therapists, too, may hesitate to move forward until a set goal is met. In such cases, collaboration and flexibility become key.

Chandy sees this as vital: “The contract can evolve. What you needed in month one may not be what you need in month six. And that’s okay.”

Consider a “therapy vacation”

Sometimes, clarity requires space.

“A therapist might suggest a brief pause—a ‘therapy vacation’,” says Dr Nagaraja. This isn’t an exit strategy, but a conscious detour. During this time, you might be asked to do light self-work—like journalling, taking a trip or engaging in esteem-building exercises.

At times, therapists bring their own emotional baggage into the room, and that can turn subtly toxic for the client. In such instances, it may be healthier to quietly step away rather than request a break. Therapists, too, need time to reset.

Clients with acute anxiety may, understandably, become overly dependent—repeatedly calling or expecting their therapist to be available at all times. But this can lead to burnout on the therapist’s end, especially when boundaries begin to blur.

Think of it as recalibrating your emotional compass before stepping back into the work.

Stay alert to unhealthy dynamics

One of the lesser-discussed risks in therapy is blind trust. “We’re in an age where we’re taught to follow experts without question,” Dr Nagaraja says. “But a good therapist should never impose their opinion. They elicit—not dictate—solutions.”

Watch out for signs of dependency, unresolved transference or therapists who cross ethical lines. “A couple shouldn’t go to the same therapist individually,” she warns. “One therapist hearing both sides creates bias—however unintentional.”

When boundaries blur, the therapeutic space loses its neutrality. And if a therapist ever violates confidentiality, that’s a serious breach of trust.

Know when to switch—and how to end well

Switching therapists can feel like betrayal, but it might be exactly what’s needed. Ending the relationship respectfully and with closure can be a powerful step in your growth.

Chandy has worked with many clients who felt emotionally tethered to former therapists. She says, “Sometimes, just encouraging them to say a proper goodbye became a meaningful act of healing.”

If you’re considering a switch, don’t ghost. Schedule a final session. Thank them for their part in your journey. Closure isn’t just for romantic breakups—it matters here too.

Remember—this space belongs to you

Ultimately, therapy isn’t about pleasing your therapist or fitting a template. “This space is meant to serve you,” Chandy affirms. “And it only works if it’s alive, responsive and safe enough to grow in.”

Whether you need a pivot, a pause or a parting, trust yourself to know when something isn’t working. And then, have the courage to act on that knowing. Because real healing isn’t linear—it’s alive. And sometimes, it begins again, with a better question.

Lead image credit: Netflix

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