Long Live the Hand Job?!

I know, I know. Handies seem the domain of teenage virginity pledges and resentful ageing housewives. Maybe you think of it as that thing you do when you forget to take your birth control and don’t feel like giving a BJ. Worse, perhaps you write it off as passé. I recently brought up hand jobs to a friend, and her response was, “People still do that?”
Yes, they still do that! I still do it...and you know what? My marriage and my sex life are way better for it.
Believe me: I wasn’t always down with the HJ. In my early 20s, I was so scared of coming off as prudish that I would skip over fondling entirely. By the time my husband, Christopher, and I got together, I had spent too many years trying too hard to seem adventurous in bed. I decided that with him, there would be no more performing. I wanted to get back to the basics of sex, and what’s more basic than hand-to-gland combat?
It started as tantalising foreplay: “This is all you get for now, mister”. With him lying in bed, I would kneel at his side, kissing his chest while fondling him, or I’d crouch between his feet, looking up at his erection. This playful approach let me experiment with different touches without feeling like I was fumbling.
Eventually, I learnt the grip, rhythm, and motion that makes him shudder with pleasure. In the mornings before work, when we’re too rushed for the foreplay required for a nice, mutual sexin’, he’ll ask with a smirk, “What about an HJ?” My response is pretty much always an enthusiastic “Yeah, baby!” That’s because I get at least as much out of it as he does (and not just because he returns the favour with fingers or oral). I’ve never felt so in control as when giving an expert, teasing handy.
For us, instead of serving as a replacement for boning, it leads to more sex by keeping us more connected throughout the week. This way, we never get a chance to become distant from each other in that way that always spells the death of sex. Plus, it’s a miracle cure for any relationship where the man has a higher sex drive than the woman. 

Master the HJ

Watch Him Do It
What better way to figure out what he likes than to watch him touch himself? After all, the guy’s probably been doing it at least once a day ever since he sprouted his first pube, so let his expertise guide you.
Ask Questions
No one is born a virtuoso at playing the peen. The only way you get there is by putting your ego aside and daring to ask him questions. ‘Does this feel good?’ ‘More pressure?’ ‘Faster?’
Don’t Be Scared to Start While He’s Soft
When you first start out, treat it like an experiment—this is about you getting familiar with his body and the way it responds to your touch. Say, ‘The point here isn’t to get you hard, okay? I’m just having fun’.
Never Forget the Lube
Giving a hand job sans lube is like shaving your legs dry—never do it!