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Do we actually need a ‘13 going on 30’ reboot? We made a checklist to figure it out

In a world where reboots have taken over, we came up with the best way for networks and film studios to figure out if they really need to recreate that old idea.

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Let’s get one thing clear: 13 Going on 30 raised me. One could argue that seeing Jenna Rink put her spin on Poise in her big presentation is one of the reasons I’m even writing this article for Cosmopolitan right now. I threw myself a “Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving” birthday party last year to ring in the big 3-0! So why do I feel a big crisis over the recent news that a reboot of the film—starring Emily Bader and Logan Lerman—is happening?

Part of it could be the idea that the movie that changed my life is now suddenly “too old” for younger audiences and executives want a new version for the next generation. Are you calling me old?! Another part, however, is Hollywood’s seemingly never-ending cycle of wanting to recreate old favorites instead of supporting new and original work, sometimes by the very people who were inspired by those “old” movies.

In a time where Sinners has broken box office records and adaptations like People We Meet on Vacation have stayed in the Netflix Top 10 list for weeks, I have to wonder why we need to go back and recreate something in a medium that already exists in. (To be clear, I would love for Emily and Logan to be in a movie together.) Who am I to argue, as someone who has lived through four different iterations of Spider-Man on the big screen (six if you also count the hit PlayStation video game) and loved every single one?

It got me thinking: What really needs a reboot? Is it a 22-year-old film that’s not even available on the streamer that is making the reboot?

Here’s what I’ve come up with to determine whether or not we need a new version of a beloved film. Consider this the official rubric:

Is it giving money, attention, and/or credit to an evil person?

If yes: Please, stop making Harry Potter or anything from Neil Gaiman immediately and find literally anything else to make.
If no: Keep going.

Is it introducing a character in a new way that (1) features a new unique story (2) that may use some inspiration of a former iteration but is not exactly the same, and (3) that takes place in a different universe from the one before?

If yes: Surprise, you can create a new version of that superhero we’ve seen 5,000 times before.
If no: Keep going.
Is it a film that still has some relevance in some way, shape, or form in the current media? For example: Are we still using GIFs from the film in everyday conversation?

If yes: We don’t need it.
If no: Keep going.
Are all the actors who played main characters still alive and able to contribute to a sequel?

If yes: Here’s your cash grab!
If no: Keep going.
Finally, can you not find literally anyone else who is willing to come up with either: (1) a new, original story that takes place in this universe that can include a prequel or follow a different character’s story or (2) a new and original story that has never been created on the big screen before (including an adaptation of a story from a different medium) that should get the money and budget of this film instead of redoing the same ideas over and over again.

If yes: Congratulations! You can finally make your reboot.
If not: Please go find and support an original idea. Even Reese Witherspoon gave us both a Legally Blonde sequel with twins and now a prequel series for streaming—it’s something new!
And if you still find yourself asking whether or not you should fund a reboot even after completing our helpful rubric, watch the original again to remind yourself of the reason why people fell in love with it in the first place. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll come away with the (correct) opinion that some things deserve to be left alone.
 

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