#SaneGirlEra: How to break free from your worst-case scenario brain

Do you feel overwhelmed seeing a list of unread new emails in your inbox, sent by your boss, and thinking you will be fired? If you don’t hear back about your job application, do you feel anxious and end up spiralling? Does that make you feel that you will never ever get through an interview?

If someone doesn’t reply to messages on a dating app, do you feel rejected and think you’re not capable of being in a relationship? After a major argument turns into a negative conversation, does it make you fear losing your partner?

When you get your blood work done, in the process, do you visualise having a chronic disease?  

If you are constantly thinking about worst-case scenarios and carrying extreme negative thoughts, it is called ‘Catastrophising.’

Believing you can’t control things, facing rejections, the fear of the unknown, chronic stress, a constant high-pressure work environment, poor tolerance for uncertainty, cognitive distortions, and a tendency to overthink are common causes of our minds thinking worst-case scenarios.

These emotions, such as feeling rejected, out of control, uncertain, and fearful of losing, are not just experiences; they become threats in our minds. A part of our brain, the amygdala, is sensitive to danger and scans these emotions. It sends us a signal to stay safe. This is exactly why a lot of us end up reacting emotionally and negatively to situations, sometimes in extreme ways.

What catastrophising does

Research shows high rates of catastrophising amongst people who have gone through any trauma in the past, loss of a special person, burnout and chronic health issues. We all experience this at some point in our lives. But a lot of people go through this type of catastrophic thinking regularly because of high levels of stress.

In my practice as a psychologist, I have observed that people often use words like always, never, only, and just—these are called absolute words—which lead to rigidity of mind and leave no room for flexibility. This defines that you have a catastrophic way of thinking. For example, “I am never lovable.” “I am always cheated on.” “Every time I try, I fail”. “My work is never appreciated”. “I will be loved and accepted only if I learn to please people”.

When you catastrophise, your mind has a natural reflex: You envision the most negative outcome, which you sometimes can't articulate, and you believe that’s your destiny, and then you act on it by giving up.

During this process of catastrophising, you also ruminate. Mind simply marinates in negativity, in fear and anxiety.

How to get out of the negative thinking and thinking of the worst-case scenarios? Let me help you with a couple of scientifically proven techniques.

A self-guided cognitive behaviour approach

1.  First, identify when you are thinking of a worst-case scenario. This can be done by asking your friend when it is most frequently observed in your conversations when you're thinking of extreme negative scenarios. Or a mental health therapist would be the best professional in helping you identify this pattern.

Think of recent situations that linger in your mind, or any situation where you are thinking about worst-case scenarios, and write them down. Let me help you with an example-

“Most of the marriage prospects have rejected me. I don’t think anyone will accept me. It makes me not want to attend social gatherings, which in turn makes me less inclined to plan much with my friends. I feel anxious about planning to go on any dates.”

This shows that our thinking is distorted.

Flesh out the negative beliefs about things that will happen or how negative circumstances will affect you.

2. Analyse how realistic your conclusions are. Now this can be done through a few prompts and quick check-ins:

A. Is this a definite conclusion, or are there different possibilities?

B. Is there any evidence that what will happen is likely to happen? For e.g., I have been rejected by a few candidates for a relationship or marriage, but that does not mean that no one will like me as their partner. Or just being denied by a few of them is not enough evidence to say I am incapable of being in a relationship or that I cannot get married.

C. Does your thought come from your feelings or reality? Look for emotions that relate to your beliefs. For e.g., is the thought “I won’t be accepted by any partner” coming from the feelings of your insecurity, poor self-esteem? Or is it coming from a reality where someone has told you in the past? Or is there enough consistent evidence that proves that you won’t be accepted by anyone?

Practising mindfulness

Practising mindfulness is about bringing your thoughts and mind into the present moment. When you worry, you are either concerned about the future or ruminating about the past. So, practising mindfulness helps distract your thoughts by slowly bringing your focus. This puts the distance between what is actually happening and what you fear will happen.

Six quick ways to practice mindfulness

-        Slow breathing. Inhale slowly and exhale from your mouth for 30 seconds. Repeat for 3-4 min.

-        Notice the thought, label it and very firmly tell yourself, “I will let this pass”.

-        Grounding techniques. Find any essential oil to smell, pay attention to what you can hear, pay attention to the taste of what you are eating, pay attention to the sound of the water while you shower. Press your hands firmly on the wall. You can also hold ice cubes in your palms.

-        The “Pause Practice”. Anytime in the day, just randomly pause and ask, “What is the emotion I am feeling right now?” “Am I liking my day?”

-        Do any guided meditation on guided apps for 10 min, which will relax your nervous system.

-        Brain dump. Dump all your thoughts for 2-3 min on a piece of paper, or write 2 to 3 pages. Do not read what you write, and once you are done, tear it and discard it in the dustbin.

Sane Girl Era is our latest column featuring psychologist Meghna Karia, who pens down her expert advice to help Cosmo readers find solace and sanity amidst the chaos.

Meghna Karia is a psychologist, psychotherapist, and mental health trainer, trained and certified in REBT from the Albert Ellis Institute. She specialises in treating addiction, eating disorders, anxiety, relationship concerns, corporate stress, and existential crises.

Also read: #SaneGirlEra: How to stay sane when the world feels like it’s constantly on fire

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