How training for a marathon became the most honest conversation I have ever had with myself

I vividly remember that early December morning, 10 years ago, when I signed up for my first marathon at the age of 39. I was sipping my tea, thinking about the rhythm of my life: running, being a mother, showing up for everyone around me, and often forgetting to show up for myself.

Running has always been familiar to me. I’ve been on this journey for 60 years, and for most of that time, it has been the one space where my mind and body found their balance. But a marathon felt different. It felt like a commitment to finally pause and check in with myself, something I had been pushing away for a long time, until I finally decided to take on the challenge and reward myself. 

The early days

Even with decades of running behind me, the first week of training felt like a reality check. Marathon training is demanding. It requires discipline, structure, and a willingness to face discomfort, not occasionally, but daily.

I remember that I never missed a run; whether I was attending social dos, weddings, or parties, I made sure I kept the momentum going. That was the commitment I had made to myself. And before I knew it, the marathon became more than just a run for me; it felt like meditation. Post my training runs, I always felt more focused, centred, and more positive.

Those early days helped strengthen the dedication to showing up every day and the patience to see it through to the end.

Learning to live unhurried, even while running

One of the biggest lessons marathon training teaches you is pacing, not just during your run, but in life. To build and cover distance, you have to slow down. You have to listen to what your body.

On days when I felt stiff or tired, I learned to respond with patience instead of pressure. On stronger days, I didn’t chase speed; I chased alignment. Over time, I noticed how running was quietly reorganising my inner world too. My thoughts became calmer. My decision-making sharpened. I felt grounded.

Running stopped being another item on my schedule. It became the anchor holding everything else together.

The Walls You Hit, the Ones You Break

Every long-distance runner has a story about the walls they’ve hit. I’ve had mine across years of running, both physical and emotional. On my third training run, I almost stopped midway. My legs felt heavy, my breathing was off, and mentally, I was all over the place.

But the part of me that had signed up for this pushed me: Just stay with it. Don’t walk away.

That mindset has saved me from any major injuries. I make it a point to stay meticulous in my stretching, physio, massages, diet, and weight training, all of which are equally important. These commitments held up a mirror to myself and gave me a better understanding of my strengths, resilience and determination.

Race Day

Race day is a feeling that’s hard to explain. The energy of the crowd, the nervous excitement of the runners, the music, it all lifts you, but also reminds you that this whole journey is yours alone, and it comes down to these 42 kilometres you have been training for.

The first 30 kilometres felt comfortable because, as part of our training, we are required to run two 32km runs before our first full marathon. When I hit the 33km mark, everything started feeling heavier. My muscles protested with every step. My mind tried to convince me to slow down.

But then I remembered why I had shown up.

Not to prove anything.

Not to hit a specific timing.

But to meet myself more fully.

The last two-kilometre stretch was significant. I was emotional when I finally crossed the finish line. I was, at once, feeling proud, relieved, grateful, and had a renewed sense of who I was becoming.

The marathon taught me that slowing down is not the opposite of progress—it is often the reason you sustain it. It taught me that well-being is not a checklist; it’s a relationship you build with yourself over time. And it reminded me that running is not about the distance—it’s about who you become along the way.

Today, when I run, I run for clarity. For strength. For the woman who has stayed committed to herself through six decades of movement. For the person who once quietly clicked “register” and, in doing so, opened a new chapter of self-understanding.

I didn’t just finish a marathon. I found a new way to return to myself, one mindful mile at a time.
 

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