The 11 Types of Valentine's Day Every Girl has Had

​1. The Primary School Valentine's Day

Who knew rejection could even hurt at 14-years-old? When your best friend (and every other girl in the class) gets 'delivered' a romantic card from a secret admirer (their parents, but you're not old enough to realise that yet) you get this strange feeling of loneliness that washes over you. And boy, will that become familiar through the years.

2. The 'very, very single' Valentine's Day

Years later, you're so single it hurts, but you're used to it by now. So Valentine's Day is just another cross on that calendar of loneliness.

3. The 'smug and in love' Valentine's Day​

This is usually the first Valentine's Day you have with your first ever 'real and proper boyfriend'. You're so taken with having someone you "totally have to see" on that day, that you don't notice how bloody irritating you're being towards everyone you know.​

4.​ The 'desperate to dump your boyfriend' Valentine's Day

You're over your relationship. You don't fancy him anymore, even the way he speaks is annoying, and has he always chewed his food like that? Ugh, it's gross.  But frustratingly, it would be the most dick move to be dumped on or just before Valentine's Day. So it looks like you're going to have to grin and bear it for a few more days. But you'll say you're on your period, you know, to get out of doing that.

5. The 'just been dumped' Valentine's Day

This is undoubtedly the worst kind of Valentine's Day. For starters I want a word with whoever's idea it was to put V-Day in February, the month right after January, when most relationship break-ups occur.

You didn't even like Valentine's while you were IN a relationship, but the fact that now most of your friends are unavailable by default, being all busy and in love and not around to help you mope, makes the sting of being heartbroken even harder to bear.

6. The 'I hate men' Valentine's Day

You give up. You've been messed around more times than you can count and refuse to believe any sane woman would actually WANT to spend this stupid celebratory day in the presence of anyone classifying as male. So you'll stay in, with your Mum. And ban your Dad from the house.

7. The Galentine's Day

This one's quite rare, because it requires a healthy number of your gal pals to also be single on the dreaded day. But when it comes around, you have a pamper party even Elle Woods would envy. Takeaway, pyjamas, face masks, wine, rom coms. This is the BEST kind of Valentine's Day.

8. The 'on the pull' Valentine's Day

By the time you reach this Valentine's Day, the logic will have struck: everyone who's 'out out' on V-Day MUST be single. Or they will be soon if they've taken their girlfriend on a date down the local club. It's a breeding ground for singles, is what it is. So go, be free, and FIND YOUR LOBSTER.

9. The 'lowest of the low' Valentine's Day

When you find yourself sitting in McDonalds at 6pm on V-Day, being chatted up by a teenage boy whose face is as greasy as his burger, you know it's time to reassess your life.

10. ​The 'organised fun' Valentine's Day​

You're in a relationship with someone you like – yay! But Valentine's? Meh. Still, it'd be rude not to spend it together. So you ask your housemates to evacuate the house, you cook a nice dinner together, he buys you an underwear set and you joyfully try to spice up your sex life. It's all very nice, but it's definitely more fun when you do it because you want to, and not because there's a pre-printed date in the diary that tells you to.​

11. The 'fuck everything' Valentine's Day

You'd quite like to be as far from civilisation as humanly possible, in order to forget Valentine's day is even a thing that exists. So you book a trip with your other perennially angry friend, have a bloody great time, and wonder what all the fuss was ever about.

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