How to Meditate for Peace, Calm, and Happiness by Shayoon

It was in August last year, when Shayoon Mendeluk, fashion influencer, model, author and founder of Lightforce Center, a healing and wellness retreat in Ibiza, created a buzz on social media. An Indian origin woman, born in Kenya and raised in America, Shayoon who grew up in myriad cultures, knew quite well the taboo attached to breast feeding in Indian subcontinent. She shared pictures of breastfeeding her infant, which went viral. The purpose was to dispel the “stigma of shame surrounding breastfeeding in our culture,” she says. An advocate of wellness and healing, Shayoon has been helping both men and women to heal from trauma, embrace their flaws and feel proud of their true selves. In an exclusive interview, she tells Cosmo India about her journey and shares a meditation video that will help people tide through the difficult times. 

Cosmo: Tell us about yourself and the cultural influences that shaped your views?
Shayoon Mendeluk: I was. born in Nairobi, Kenya with family stemming from India, I grew up around all religions and moved to the states when I was younger. I lived in Los Angeles, and when that wasn't feeding my soul anymore I decided to only go after what would make me happy, and that was to live in a magical place. So I moved to Ibiza with my husband!

Cosmo: How did you get into healing? Tell us the story behind your healing center at Ibiza.
SM: I was in an accident when I was younger, and when I met my husband ten years ago, he took away my pain with one simple healing technique called Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), a powerful holistic healing technique. It changed my life forever and I went on to discover that I was gifted with the ability to see and feel colour, auras, and became obsessed with helping people heal. I opened a luxury apothecary and boutique in Ibiza last year called The Lightforce Center. I carry high vibrational supplements, healing tools, and the healing center opens this year for retreats where people can come and stay and have life transformation work done. Reprogramming people into their true selves, helping them heal from trauma and aligning them with their life’s purpose is what we intend to do. We will also have a biohacking area consisting of hyperbaric oxygen chambers, cryo therpay, float tanks, and a full spa.

Cosmo: The breastfeeding pictures of yours went viral. What message did you try to send through them?
SM: There is the stigma of shame surrounding breastfeeding in our culture. There is no shame in a woman’s body especially when she is using it to feed her child. I have become an advocate for breastfeeding in public and hopefully encourage women especially in our culture to not be ashamed of it. To praise their bodies and for the world to accept the beauty of the bond between a mother and child. Our bodies allow us to birth humanity. Why would we stop there? Why not praise the food and nourishment provided afterward. Woman are so powerful. It's time to celebrate that now more. than ever!

 

 

 

 

 

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Self betrayal is a coping mechanism. Our greatest need as children is to receive love from our caregiver. Our very survival depends on it. And, many of us are born to parents with their own unresolved trauma. Parents who don’t know how to regulate their own emotions. And therefore, can’t support the experience of their child. As children we are incredibly perceptive. We soak up how our parents respond to us. We quickly learn ways to get love + approval even if that means betraying our own sense of self. This pattern continues through adulthood because we’ve lost that connect to our inner knowing. We’ve been conditioned to rely on other people’s knowings as truth. Self betrayal manifests as the following: DENIAL OF OUR OWN REALITY: we see something happen (our mother chronically depressed + in bed, our father drunk, or a sibling engaging in behaviors that scare us) then, a parent who doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth to explain the situation creates a different narrative around what’s happening. “Mom is just sleepy.” “Dad has the flu.” “John is just going through a phase.” We learn that we cannot trust our own perceptions + that denial of situations/lack of communication is how to cope with problems. NEGLECTING OUR OWN NEEDS: our core human needs are to be seen, heard, + authentically expressed. We have physical, emotional, + spiritual needs. When our caregivers don’t teach through modeling that we can have a need + another human allows that need to be met, we betray our own needs. Many of us don’t even know what our needs are. FIND VALIDATION THROUGH A FALSE ROLE: We morph into the qualities our caregivers value + reject the parts of ourselves (typically emotions) that they punish or shame. We become a false self, a facade we display for the world. DENY/LIMIT BOUNDARIES: Our boundaries are continuously crossed + we don’t witness adults with clear boundaries. So, we betray our own needs for these boundaries because we were taught boundaries are not part of relationships. Which of these resonates MOST for you? Via Dr.Lepera #selflove #selfcare #breastfeeding #breastmilk #breastfeedinginpublic #heal #normalizebreastfeeding #consciousness #india

A post shared by Shayoon Mendeluk (@shayoon_) on Apr 9, 2020 at 11:16pm PDT

Cosmo: What has the current crisis taught you? What positive things do you expect to emerge out of this?
SM: The crisis has taught me to completely surrender to the current state. Presence is key. After this is all over I really hope people are more mindful in their choices. This is a big wake up call for everyone!

Cosmo: How can meditation and staying connected to nature help people deal with such circumstances?
SM: Meditation is the key to controlling your emotions, and your thoughts. We try to control everything around us but it’s impossible. The only thing we do have control over is our mind. And if we can train our minds to a state of happiness, and love, then we will attract that, we will become that.

Watch Shayoon's meditation video here