Here's Cosmo's Totally Twisted Dating Dictionary

Apoco-lips (n)

a-pah-ko-lipz /

Really hot guy... terrible kisser—due to chapped lips, bad breath, or lack of practice.

Bread- crumbing (v)

brehd-cruhming /

When he passively reaches out to you, but never makes direct contact (i.e., he Likes an old Insta photo). He keeps an eye on you but doesn’t ask you out...he just drops little crumbs that you pick up.

Cliterference (n)

cliht-ur-fear-ens /

When a friend is not a team player and prevents you from hooking up with someone—can be on purpose or by accident. Female version of cock block.

Date Baiting (v)

dayt-bayt-ing /

When the person sets a day to see you but doesn’t follow up with a time and place, leaving a spot reserved on your iCal and a meet-up that never happens.

Dateflation (Dating + Inflation) (n)

dayt-flay-shun /

When he says he doesn’t want anything serious but treats you like a GF (intros you to friends and fam, tells you he cares, etc.), making you think this could be something. When you try to DTR, he claims he’s still ‘not ready right now’, even though he’s already acting the part.

The Dot Dot Dot Deadlock (n)

tha-daht- daht-daht-ded-lahk /

When you see each other typing texts, so you delete yours and wait for a response. Problem is, he does too, so you’re left with an unfinished convo, wondering if you missed out on him professing his love.

Girlfriend Grenade (n)

gurl-frend- greh-nayd /

When you think the dude at the bar may ask you out, then he suddenly drops the SO bomb (You: ‘I love avocado toast.’ Him: ‘So does my girlfriend!’).

Half-Night Stand (n)

haf-nyte-stand /

When you bounce from his house—or he bounces from yours—in the middle of the night post-hookup without notice. (Note: move is best executed if your heels are put on outside the bedroom.)

Narcisexuals (n)

nahr-si-secks-yu-uhls /

People who are awful to date because they believe they’re God’s gift. They’re better off staying single, because no-one else can ever match up.

SocialScreening (v)

sew-shul-skreen-ing /

When he views your Snapchat Story (or uploads one) but doesn’t respond to your text, inducing extreme anger.

This article was published in February 2017 issue of Cosmopolitan India 

By Daniella Kam