What It's Like to Get Pregnant Right After You Get Married

When we first got married, I was afraid to let my husband hear me pee.

It sounds totally stupid. OK, it is totally stupid. We hadn't lived together before getting married because of our religious upbringings, and​ I vividly remember trying to pee quietly (not possible) while in our first week of marriage, stuffed into a tiny, one-bedroom apartment shoved over a coffee shop.  

One month later, I got pregnant.

Suddenly, I was throwing up – so hard, in fact, that I lost complete control of my body and peed my pants. I peed my pants. My husband and I just looked at each other and laughed hysterically. I couldn't keep anything a mystery anymore. 

Unlike most couples our age, we skipped the whole living together "just us" phase and jumped right into the baby-making phase. We knew we wanted a big family and didn't want to wait long to get started making it happen.​ Little did we know just how much a pregnancy would impact our marriage.

I had hyperemesis gravidarum while pregnant, which is a condition that results in constant vomiting.​ It wasn't like, ouch-I-have-a-tumymy-ache sick. I'm talking the puking-seven-times-a-day kind of sick, where you have to have weekly doctor appointments and are basically on a gourmet diet that includes an electrolyte-and-calorie cocktail of Pedialyte and Ensure. I was in the emergency room twice, had both low blood sugar and low potassium, and spent many a midnight crying, "I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE. GET THIS ALIEN OUT OF MY BODY."

I was aware that most of my friends in their mid-20s didn't have to go through this. Most got married and then took a couple of years to explore nightlife, go on exotic vacations, and spend time alone. But despite it being a total challenge for both body and mind, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

I realized that real love was my husband driving to Chick-Fil-A to get my beloved spicy chicken sandwich only to then clean the puke out of the Jeep after I threw it all up.

We took "in sickness and in health" very seriously. Although sometimes I wish we could have spent our first year of marriage having a few more adventures, the truth is, we were tested that first year. 

We had to prove what we were made of when it came to marriage. We didn't set our marriage precedent on anything romantic or sweet, but I think this is a good thing. There were many late-night prescription runs, canceled events due to sudden sickness, and dinners made of saltine crackers. It was pretty far from the romantic newlywed year most people dream about. But at the end of the day, I truly think this crazy first year has shaped us for the better. We already have a strong, solid foundation that was built up over tough times. My husband has been there for me in an extreme way from Day One, and I know he'll continue to do so. 

Of course, there were things we missed out on. When many of our friends bought houses, we were setting up a college fund and investing in a solid stroller. We had to cancel trips with friends. But there were no regrets; those small sacrifices were completely worth it. 

I think we're all too busy taking Taylor Swift lyrics seriously and looking at pretty Instagram photos; not every relationship moment is deliriously happy, and certainly not marriage. For us, marriage is running to Walgreens when we're out of paper towels and deodorant. It's the pregnancy insomnia and the puking and him fetching me my millionth glass of water.

Sure, we skipped right ahead to the baby, but I think we still had a "honeymoon phase." Our romantic nights weren't in Paris or anything like that; our romantic nights were Netflix movies and Tums.

If you're considering having a baby right away, take it from us: it's definitely not for the faint-hearted, and you may accidentally pee your pants while puking. But it's also something that strengthened our marriage.