“Pebbling” is the non-toxic, genuinely adorable dating trend we all needed
Inspired by a penguin mating ritual, no less!
iven the current state of dating today, I fear most of the relevant trends I report on tend to err on the side of what is generally referred to as “toxic.” But not this one! Because the dating trend I’ve come here to share with you today is not just non-toxic but, dare I say, downright wholesome? Not to mention, it is literally inspired by penguins. Without further ado, I give you: pebbling, which is essentially just the practice of wooing a lover with tiny tokens of affection.
The trend gets its name from a courting practice in which male penguins present their desired mate with a meticulously sourced pebble to signal their interest. If the penguin love interest in question accepts this offering, “the pebble becomes the foundation of their nest, and symbolizes the beginning of their life together,” per Psychology Today.
Apparently, humans do our own version of pebbling. And while you might say giving a lover a rock meant to become the foundation of your shared life sounds a lot like the penguin version of popping the question with an engagement ring, the pebbling dating trend inspired by this penguin proposal ritual is actually a little different and much lower-stakes. Less about the committed life-partnership symbolized by the penguin pebble exchange, the pebbling dating trend takes inspo from the simplicity of the gesture.
In humans, this translates to the many little ways we show our partners/lovers/crushes/etc. that we care—be it sending them a meme you know they’d laugh at, sharing a playlist you made for them, or giving them a small gift because you randomly saw something at the store that made you think of them.
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Essentially, pebbling is about the little things. Moreover, it’s about recognizing that even those seemingly tiny gifts or gestures say something that’s actually quite big.
“Sending memes, links, and videos to others isn't trivial,” wrote organizational psychologist Adam Grant in a tweet that popularized pebbling as a dating trend. “It signals that you're thinking of them and want them to share your joy.”
Basically, any time you see something that makes you think of your person and your first thought is, “I have to send them/show them/buy them this,” that’s pebbling at work. And if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of one of these seemingly tiny gestures, you know just how huge it actually feels when someone takes time out of their day just to say, “Hey, this made me think of you.”
Credit: Cosmopolitan